Found out my ex, V, died last Thursday. He had cancer... I don't know what to think, say or feel actually. I do feel a little guilty that I never talked to him at the end and ignored his IMs.

I guess I'll figure this out later...I'm too busy right now.

I feel as if lately I've been engulfed in activities of little and superficial value. I really feel like I need some time to go and explore myself and the contents of my mind. I really hope that I will be able to make it through this last year of undergrad without becoming bitter and angrier than I already am.

I feel really worn out, emotionally and mentally. I hope that it is just because of the amount of stress that I have with all the things I have to do lately and not something more serious. I really do not want to plunge to those depths of depression that I have previously found myself in, once was enough for me and this year is going to be too much to take in if I am not emotionally and mentally stable.

For once, I do feel like I have someone that I can rely on if I can push my pride aside and allow myself to depend more wholly on him.

Please please let it just be a phase..